I Will Never Drink Coffee The Same Way Again... How to get Studio Super Powers!

Hey Music Maniac!

S.A.T. of The Maniac Agenda here! I found a new trick that is sure to increase your work output. We have been getting ready to launch our new weekly production pack promotion to help The Maniac Agenda win the Warp Tour Battle of The Bands. The guys and me have been in the studio creating and researching lots of production tools to help inspire you so we needed some thing to give us the EDGE! Now you can too for all you coffee drinkers out there :-) 

Okay, gather around and listen up...

Brew coffee
Let coffee cool
Replace filter and coffee grounds with new filter and new coffee grounds.
Pour first batch of coffee back into the coffee maker.
Lift off

Let me tell you people something. I work nights and needed a way to stay energetic. I finally found the answer...

I just drank "double brewed coffee" and I feel like I can throw an orange at 60 percent the speed of light. Do you realize that if I had a boomerang right now I could kill god, eat his meat, and use his hide to stay warm during those long nights on the savanna? ENERGY. After drinking this special coffee I suddenly find myself triangulating coordinates and shit in my mind. I'm pretty sure if I was a floating head that I'd be able to float directly to the Bermuda triangle without stopping for directions. I have so much energy that I'm now watching half hour long sitcoms in just seconds!

You ever notice that they don't have any type of Karate for German shepherds? If dogs learned to focus their chi, just imagine how screwed we'd be? Well, I wouldn't be screwed, but you most certainly would be. Right now I could probably fight off a giant ghost flamingo made entirely from ninja stars and tasers. In fact, I'm about 85 percent certain that I could mess up a 2003 Nissan Altima, if it were to suddenly become self-aware and hostile towards me. ENERGY.

I have so much energy that I can multitask more stuff right now than most in the next 4 months. While I type this I'm also filming a remake of "The Matrix", done with puppets. Simultaneously, I'm also updating the Maniac Agenda's Brand New Production Pack while dry humping a zebra and skiing.

And guess what? I just squeezed a New York steak with my bare hands and crushed it into individual calories! I am the ghost of Jim Varney and I will haunt you into infinity! I am the one that inspired the "blade" movies and I will triumph! I am the singularity, the way, the light, the man who can turn a normal visit to the zoo into a multiple felony getaway vacation to the andromeda galaxy and I don't take crap from anyone!!

If you want to lay around until you morph into a giant stick of butter and explode, that's your choice. But if you want so much energy that you could morph into a cybernetic plasma cheetah and beat the living sh*t out of the power rangers then I suggest you try "double brewed coffee". ENERGY.

Hope this helps! :-)


  • Guarana
    Guarana Indianapolis, IN
    I absolutely LOVE this post lmao... cybernetic plasma cheetah... pure genius haha keep it up friend

    I absolutely LOVE this post lmao... cybernetic plasma cheetah... pure genius haha keep it up friend

  • KiloPaSKULL
    KiloPaSKULL Vancouver BC
    Oh Hellz Yeah! I'm definitely going to try this out!

    Oh Hellz Yeah! I'm definitely going to try this out!

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